This day is set out to spread the word about Parental Alienation.  Parents all over the country will be showing up at Family Courts at 10:00 A.M. with pictures, letters and protest in support of this very widespread and understated epidemic.  Parents are encouraged to be vociferous in telling their stories, contacting their politicians, educators, social service workers, mental health professionals and the media. 

Since I recently devoted an entire month of blog entries to this issue I will only provide tips for dealing with parental alienation here.

Tips for parents facing Parental Alienation: 

1. Try to establish a  parenting plan that sticks to a plan and minimizes stress on the child.  

2. Go to court only if reasonable resolutions are impossible with the other parent.

3. Try to deal with the child with patience, understanding and a firm hand.  Do not tolerate disrespectful behavior but do not scold the child harshly.

4. Talk with the child in an age appropriate manner, explaining the affects the changes has on everyone’s lives. 

5. Alllow the child to explore his/her imaginations, interests, ideas, etc.  Build child’s self-esteem, while teaching/learning (and having fun) is a mutual process.

6. Stay abreast of the child’s life, and staying involved in school and athletic/ hobbies/ cultural/artistic interests. Volunteer in church, school, etc.  However, be careful not to overstep or overreach. 

7. Develop support with people who can influence children’s positive recognition of who you are and what you are all experiencing.  Encourage relationship between extended family members and child.

8. Do research in effort to understand developmental stage of children and attachment needs/separation- normal anxiety issues complicates child’s approach-avoidance response to separation/attachment and independence/dependence.  Recognize and accept limitations in how relationship is expressed with limited or awkward affection and emotional withdrawal/outbursts.

9. Practice non-confrontational ways to hone in on listening skills with children and others. Practice peacemaking solutions.
10. Hold other parent accountable in consistently documenting behavior and consulting with your attorney (who should get the law guardian or attorney for the child involved).

11. Know your rights and insist that they are not violated (particularly in court).

12. Maximize use of parenting coordinator, if available by the court.  Inquire about outside agencies.  ecessary appointed by the court, with arbitration/mediation power.
13. Find a therapist familiar with PA/PAS cases and legal process and suggest to court if applicable.  Explore Individual therapy for parents to cope with learning and taking responsibility for the individual/family problems in past.
14. Maintain some sort of  independent communication if possible using cell phone, instant messaging, letters, and photographs, gifts, etc. for any occasion.
15. Never blame children.