The aim of today’s discussion is not necessarily to focus on the meaning of parental alienation, since there is a plethora of resources available for that purpose.  Instead, I want to explore the significant roles, within the court process, that each of the players play in child custody cases where parental alienation is a factor.  It is safe to assume that there is at least a minimum understanding of what parental alienation is-the brainwashing, manipulation, control of the child by one parent to stir up feelings of hate, anger, disdain, disrespect, disregard of the other parent, to name a few.  According to the DOJ, it is domestic violence, while to many others it is a form of child abuse/neglect.  Whichever way one chooses to characterize it, define it, diagnose it or treat it, it is indisputably one of the most egregious and catastrophic issues currently plaguing our society as a whole, worthy of open and daily discussion amongst us all.

          Family Court cases are an enigma in that it is involves the only field of law where personal prejudices, cultural influences, religious mores and economic resources all converge, having a direct and profound impact on the outcomes of each case.  Even as an attorney, I am continuously reminded of the fact that there is no hard and steadfast rule in how one should rear or nurture their family.  However, there is a resounding principle in Family Court, as in any other arena, that children are our most precious jewel and should not be sacrificed for any reason.  Nevertheless, it is the individual interpretation of this principle that leads them to make judgments or implement plans that are not aligned with this most important viewpoint.  The  governing standard, ‘the best interest of the child” sometimes loses its acuity as a result, and thus the only person that typically suffers is the child.

          There are key players in child custody cases, which include the attorneys for the parents, the law guardian (the attorney for the children), the court, the forensics (experts), the parents and, most importantly, the children.  I want to explore the role of the law guardian first, since their role is the most pivotal.  This is the person whose job it is to represent the child’s interests, convey the child’s wishes and to protect the child, all concomitantly.  And although this may sound pretty basic, it is in theory but certainly not in practice. I have extensive experience in representing children in child custody and child visitation cases in Family Court and in contested divorces, and in many of my cases I am confronted with or surmise that parental alienation exists.  In many cases, either the custodial parent badmouths the non-custodial parent, will not communicate with the non-custodial parent about significant events, occurrences, etc. in the child’s life, will intentionally disregard scheduled child visitation, blames the non-custodial for the dissolution of the family, makes the child unavailable to the non-custodial by engaging the child in other activities, gains empathy and/or sympathy from the child about his/her emotional state, minimizes the non-cutodial parent’s role while imposing a new partner on the child in his/her place, amongst many others. 

          The law guardian’s role is challenging because despite the circumstances that exist, the child’s wishes must be regarded and communicated to the court by the law guardian and many times this means that his/her client’s wishes not to have any contact with the non-custodial parent must not be dismissed.  Conversely, protecting the child often means that, even where the law guardian must inform the court of his/her client’s wish not to have contact with the non-custodial parent, the law guardian’s going along with this may not be in that child’s best interest.  And although our ethical rules dictate how we are to resolve such conflicts, in practice this can be much more difficult, especially when our own values or sociologic viewpoints come into play. 

         What is much more explicit in our obligations and duties as law guardian is that we are not limited to the issues in the child custody litigation, but have the obligation to address all of the child’s material needs.  In essence, we are held with the responsibility to investigate further if we suspect that there is any form of child abuse/neglect present, and must report this to the proper authority.  In the most extreme case, where parental alienation poses a risk or harm or potential harm to the child’s emotional, psychological or physical well-being, we have a duty to report to the court and Child Protective Services, which may result in a child abuse/neglect case being brought against the alienating parent.  Consequently, again, we are placed in a position of conflict, since reporting any suspicion of child abuse/neglect can sometimes only exacerbate any emotional turmoil the client already experiences.

          The skillful and experienced law guardian will effectively investigate, explore and engage all relevant sources in an effort to establish their client’s rationale for their desire not to visit with the non-custodial parent.  The law guardian should establish a rapport with his/her client, gain the client’s trust and ensure the child that he can confide in him/her, interact with the child in a manner that is suitable for the child’s age, maturity and developmental stage while keeping in mind that there is a complete story.  The law guardian should interview the parties, other relevant persons who may give valuable insight, as well as potential expert witnesses.  The importance of visiting the home environment should not be overlooked, nor should reviewing pertinent records, i.e. school, medical, etc. to be better able to make a complete and comprehensive assessment of what is in the child’s best interest.  Understanding the impact of parental alienation will only serve to equip the law guardian with the tools needed to prevent, terminate or minimize its deleterious effects on children.  At first glance, one can very easily communicate to the court that his/her client has expressed a strong desire not to see the non-custodial parent, particularly when they of “unimpaired” age (12 years old and above). However, it is only when the law guardian truly accepts the importance of the child having a relationship with both parents, by any means, that they can effectively act in the child’s best interest and protect the child. There are various resources and methods available to law guardians to get the court, as well as the other key players in the child custody litigation, involved in addressing parental alienation.  Under rare circumstances should the path taken by the law guardian be supporting the termination or suspension of child visitation with the non-custodial parent, this only serves to compound the problem and perpetuate hate, anger, guilt, fear, etc. well into adulthood. 

          I personally make every attempt to seek every resource available to not only the child, but to all parties, so as not to deprive my client, the child, of either their parent.  I will seek therapeutic visitations, forensics evaluations, individual and/or family therapy, in addition to whatever else is available.  It is important that I stoically and persistently champion for the protection of my client’s interests no matter what the obstacle I face.  I firmly believe that it is our societal duty to ensure that, unless it is expressly contrary to the child’s best interest, each child maintains a healthy and nurturing relationship with both parents.

Contact our office if you need any assistance with your child custody, child visitation, contested divorce cases.