As an attorney, when representing clients I am required to abide many ethical obligations, one of them being to represent the client zealously.  This means that even if I do not agree with the client’s wishes, if I choose to continue to represent that client, I must advocate the client’s position particularly after providing the client with the consequences of his/her choice.  There are still many people in the legal and therapeutic profession that dispute whether parental alienation actually exists, more specifically parental alienation syndrome (“PAS”).  However, with the ubiquity of internet resources, seminars/lectures, publications, etc. on the topic, there are more and more of believers.

          The task of representing the custodial parent/alienator in child custody or child visitation matters in Family Court or as part of a contested divorce in Supreme Court, can be a contentious feat or can be summed up as “all in a day’s work”, depending on the attorney’s stance on parental alienation.  Most of us know that there is nothing more precious than the right to visit with one’s child and the very important impact on the child of having the presence of both parents in that child’s life.  However, convincing the custodial parent/alienator of these idealisms can be another challenge.  Not all custodial parents going through a contested divorce or nasty break up, deliberately interfere with contact between their child and the other parent.  Experts indicate that it is typically the party that was “shocked” or “caught off guard” by the other party’s desire to split or divorce that reacts by sabotaging the child’s relationship with that parent.  It is my experience that the custodial parent that expresses bitterness, anger, sadness, detachment/disassociation, shock, etc. over the breakup is usually the party that selfishly keeps the child away from the other parent.  Even where the child openly and knowingly expressed an affinity and maintained a close relationship with the alienated parent, the custodial parent will still encourage detachment.  I have been in several situations where my client, the custodial parent/ alienator, fired me or complained to the court because I attempted to dissuade them from engaging in their alienating behavior.  And although I take my ethical obligations very serious, my moral beliefs always prompted me to at least try to proselytize them. 

          In child visitation cases, the role of the attorney is to arrange a workable schedule where the child can share some quality time with the noncustodial parent.  Visitation schedules typically depend on the current relationship between the noncustodial parent and the child.  A child that has either lived in the home with both parents (where there was no domestic violence or child abuse) or had a nurturing relationship with the noncustodial parent very early on, typically warrants a schedule of alternate weekends, a few hours during the week and splitting the holidays/summer vacations.  However, where there was a history of domestic violence or child abuse or the child had no previous relationship with the noncustodial parent, it is not uncommon to start with supervised visits, either in the community or at an authorized agency.  Either way, the ultimate objective is to maintain and ensure meaningful and constant contact between the child and the noncustodial parent. 

          In child custody cases, the role of the attorney depends on which party the attorney represents.  Where there was no domestic violence, child abuse (aside from the alienation), drug/alcohol abuse or other behaviors that are contrary to providing a loving and stable environment, there will be a “fit” parent vs. “fit” parent test.  This means that the attorney representing the alienating parent must convince the court that there is no alienation, that any lack of continuity of or impingement on contact is the child’s doing or of the other parent’s own volition.  That attorney must prove that the custodial parent encourages the child to maintain contact, makes the child available for the noncustodial parent and does not support any verbal, behavioral or emotional disparagement of the noncustodial parent.  Many attorneys try to shift the focus onto either the noncustodial parent’s lack of parenting skills, the child’s justification in his/her own decision not to have contact (depending on their age) and other circumstances that can cause the interference.  And although there are instances where that attorney is unable to achieve his/her goal, there are still far too many cases where the alienating parent is able to maintain custody and perpetuate the alienation.

          As the attorney representing the noncustodial/alienated parent, his/her job is quite an uphill battle.  Not only are you up against the law guardian (“attorney for the child”), who must zealously advocate his/her client’s position, a position wholly contrary to your client’s. But you must also defend against another attorney who will work effortlessly to prove that his/her client, the custodial parent/alienator, is not deliberately interfering with contact but is supposedly only supporting their child in his/her choice in the matter.   And although the success of the alienated parent’s case greatly depends on the court’s stance on parental alienation, the attorney representing him/her also has a very significant role.  The attorney representing the alienated parent must first convince the court that there is in fact parental alienation, which should be done as early on in the case as possible.  This means that he/she should adamantly insist on having an assessment done by an expert experienced with parental alienation, as soon as signs are exhibited.  The attorney should provide support to his/her client, in dealing with the frustration, disappointment, sadness of the separation, while insisting that the client continues to attempt contact despite these feelings.  Once the attorney convinces the court that parental alienation exists, his/her job then becomes one of convincing the judge that this is contrary to what is in the best interest of the child, even going as far as proving that it is in fact a form of child abuse.  Expert testimony, a consistent and well contrived plan and a determined client, all serve to propel the attorney into a much better position while defending the alienated parent.
 
          Far too many cases end up with an unfavorable result, where the child only grows up dealing anger, depression, resentment, etc. as a result of the detachment.  Fully understanding and diligently advocating against parental alienation is necessary for all of us who stand on the front lines in Family Court.  I will continue to aggressively defend the alienated parent while trying to enlighten the alienator parent about the impact of alienation.  I believe it is my duty not only to provide competent, zealous and candid representation to my clients, but to ensure that each child has a nurturing and loving relationship with both parents.

          Feel free to contact our office to discuss your child custody-parental alienation, child visitation or contested divorce matters.