Occasionally I like to inform or enlighten the pro se litigant about their rights and the court’s duties when appearing in court.  The courts are designed to hear evidence, determine credibility and make decisions no matter the type of case or the court the matter is heard in.  However, there are some nuances that apply to family law related cases that distinguish it from other courts, for instance Supreme Court.

Here are some of the most vital things litigants should know:

1.   You have the right to an attorney at any stage of the case.  So even if you initially decided to forego an attorney and appear pro  se, you have the right to change your mind at any point.

2.   You have the right to review most of the evidence that is presented against, except for forensic evaluations.  This means that if the other party provides the court/judge with a document, you have the right to review it upon submission.

3.   You have the right to request any informaton, referred to as discovery, from the other party when your case is scheduled for hearing/trial.  A formal and written request is recommended, but making the request in court should suffice.

4.   You have the right to request the court to explain any procedure that you do not understand.  Although the court is not responsible for providing legal advice, you can and should ask the judge to explain anything you do not understand.

5.   You have the right to have an actual judge, not referee, hear your child custody or visitation matter.  Although your case may take longer, you do not have to consent to a referee being the final decision maker in your case.

6.  You have the right to have everything that is said in the courtroom recorded.  This includes any preliminary information about your case, i.e. if the other party  is late, has another person in the room, etc.

7.   You have the right to know who all the attorneys are that appear in the case.  This includes the other party’s attorney and the attorney for the child (formerly known as the law guardian.)

8.   You have the right to not accept service of a legal document that is subject to the service under the laws of the state.  If the judge asks you if you will “accept” service, you can answer in the negative, which will require that the other party to serve you properly.

9.   You have the right to object to anything the judge does that you do not agree with.  If the judge makes a ruling that you do not agree with, you can state your “objection” while the matter is being recorded, this will preserve any appealable issues you may have.

10.  You have the right to have your case handled in a professional, impartial and effective manner no matter the circumstances.

Although the practicality of exercising any  of these rights may be challenging, it is imprudent for you to understand the implications for waiving certain rights.   I suggest that you prepare yourself by doing as much research you  can before appearing in any courtroom regardless of how successful you think you will be.

     I am often asked by parents, and teenagers alike, at what age may the teen be considered an adult or emancipated.  First of all, in New York there is no official emancipation procedure in court, nor is there any orders, identification, etc. that states emancipation.  However, there are instances where a teenager is no longer conisidered a minor and thus obviates the need for their parents support, approval or consent.   I want to take a look at some of those situations so that we all have a clear understanding of the laws pertaining to this issue.

     If a teenager is living separate and apart from their parents (or still living in their home but the other following criteria are met); does not rely on their parents for any financial support, i.e. food, shelter, clothing, health or car insurance and is able to handle or manage their own financial responsibilties, i.e. paying their own bills, budgeting, etc. then they may considered emancipated.   This, is in essence, means several things for the purposes of the minor and their parents.

     As far as child visitation or custody, once the teenager reaches the age of seventeen then the court may no longer consider them a minor for these purposes.  However, in some circumstances the judge will issue an order for visitation for a seventeen year old where the teen’s wishes will be given considerable weight.  If the teen is adamant about visits with the non-custodial parent, either way, then the judge is more than likely to address those concerns. 

     In child support matters, a teen who is emancipated by either being financially independent (as mentioned above), being married or enlisted in the armed services, then the non-custodial parent is no longer required to pay child support.  However, in these cases it is typically much more difficult to prove emancipation because the custodial parent usually asserts that he or she still provides some sort of support to the teen despite the fact that he or she lives with a friend, paramour or alone.  Thus, the circumstances where the teen is enlisted or married it is much easier to prove emancipation.  Contrary to what many think, a teen having a child of her own does not automatically absolve the non-custodial parent of his or her obligation to pay child support.  If the custodial parent can prove that he or she still  provides any sort of support to the teen and the baby, then the obligation to support may continue.  Conversely, a teen mother does not automatically become an adult, except for specific circumstances such as medical attention for self and the child, whether and where to attend school and receiving public assistance (if the criteria are met.)

     As far as marriage is concerned, an emancipated teen still needs their parents permission.  Additionally, that teen may not be able to rent an apartment without an adult being a co-tenant (or helping in some other way); cannot work without a work permit (which requires parents permission); may not vote or bring a lawsuit to sue someone.  On the other hand, the emancipated teen may get public assistance, attend school, get medical attention without their parents consent and can live alone.  Also, although an emancipated teen’s custodial parent may no longer be entitled to receive child support, an eighteen year old may actually sue the non-custodial parent for child support his or herself.

     As the parents of teens, you must be aware of your responsibilities up until emancipation.  Until the age of seventeen, eighteen or twenty-one, you may be held responsible for your child either legally, financially or both.  If your child is arrested before the age of seventeen and is charged in Family Court, you are required to appear for that child or be subject to abuse/neglect proceedings.  Although having their case brought in Supreme Court does not relinquish that obligation, the teen is routinely charged as an adult and thus may not result in any legal proceeding being brought against the parents.  If you kick your teen out of the home before they reach seventeen, this may also result in an abuse/neglect proceeding against you as the parent.  It is the parents responsibility to bring a person in need of supervision (or PINS) in Family Court if the teen is being unruly or disobedient at home or a truant at school.  The same goes for a teen who needs the parents’ consent or attention for some medical or psychiatric issue, failing to consent or get help may also result in an abuse/neglect case against the parents.  As for child support, the non-custodial parent is required to provide financial support up until the age of twenty-one, unless emancipation occurs first.  So a nineteen year old who works part-time or attends college or who does nothing at all, is still entitled to the financial support of a non-custodial parent (typically if there is a Family Court order for support). 

     A teen in foster care is subjected to another set of rules and thus requires attention at length in another entry.  It is wise to understand the ramifications of allowing a child to move out, to leave school or otherwise.

     First I would like to just say that a good paralegal or legal assistant is PRICELESS to any attorney.   I remember when I first went out on my own, I was the paralegal, secretary, clerk, janitor, etc.  so I was constantly working.  When I finally got to the point where I could hire help, it was invaluable, I could not fathom how I managed to survive without one for so long.  But not just any paralegal will do, it has to be one that is superb in certain essential skills, i.e. detailed, organized, can handle pressure and very good at interacting with people.  I used to, and for the most part still do, incorporate what I called a “chain of comman”.  This was my office’s method of prioritizing people, particularly when there was a conflict or crisis, when they called or came to the office.  Believe it or not, this equipped my staff with what they needed to deal with the most contentious situations when I was not around,  which in essence allowed them to avoid the wrath of my alter ego.

     In New York, paralegals and legal assistants are used interchangeably.  There are professional associations, certifications, certificate and degree programs, publications and continuing education courses for paralegals statewide.  The profession is said to be on a continual upswing with regards to popularity and earning potential ( I am currently in the process of trying to obtain a paralegal teaching position).  Myself, and many other family law attorneys, look for particular skills when screening potential paralegals.  Since family law and matrimonial law are highly volatile areas of law, it is vital that the paralegal understands the sensitivity needed to deal with a mother who is calling because the non-custodial father of her child has not returned their child. On the flip side, the paralegal must also be savvy enough to know how to diffuse a situation involving similar circumstances when the child’s return is merely a couple of minutes, even hours, late. 

     The duties of the paralegal varies depending on the attorney, specifically, his or her caseload, their work habits, clientele, etc.  I have had several paralegals working for me and their responsibilities for the most part varied depending on their strengths, coupled with how involved I was with other projects.   But one constant was that yes, they all had to interact with my clients at some point.  One of my paralegals, who was actually a law school graduate, would actually be the only person my client would deal with, in many cases.  The good thing about family law is that there is quite a bit of it that is merely document preparation, and thus, only requires my signature.  (Although some of these clients insisted on meeting the attorney, at which point I would oblige them, for the most part the paralegal handled these cases.) 

     It not only serves the attorney to have an efficient paralegal but the clients benefit as well.  For instance, I have a trial scheduled that should take two weeks, which means that I will be unavailable until after office hours (if at all).  But an order to show cause (an application for immediate relief) comes in which requires an immediate response.  If I were still a one woman show, that motion would have to be put off (with the court’s approval of course) until my schedule frees up.  And in a case where such a delay would disadvantage my client, this would not be a good thing.  Of course, clients have the right to have reasonable communication with their attorney and it is an ethical obligation of ours to answer any inquiry within a reasonable time.  Nevertheless, what is reasonable is determined by weighing all of the circumstances.  So in essence, demanding to speak with the attorney today about the change in a pick up time for a scheduled visit,, after having a discussion about the provision in the order that allows for freedom to change the pick up times, would not be considered reasonable especially if this is done consistently.   As I tell those clients of mine who do insist on attorney contact, when it comes to discussing minor procedural issues, if I spend most of the time on the phone putting out the miniscule fires, then the time I have to address the wildfires is diminished significantly.

     My advice to anyone utilizing the services of any attorney, establish a relationship with all the staff in the attorney’s office.  Get to know them all, which ones are responsible for specific duties/tasks, their work schedules, etc.  Follow up, leave very detailed messages, provide necessary and requested information in a timely manner, keep copies of pertinent documents in one folder-do your part as the client.  Trust me, it is human nature for us to go the extra mile for that individual who shows zeal for their own case as opposed to the more cavalier client who shows little interest. 

    If you wish to discuss any legal issue please feel free to contact my office.

     I don’t know anyone who does not have a Facebook, Twitter and/or Myspace account these days.  And although these social networking sites are constantly trying to adjust their sites to take into account recurring issues of privacy, usability and popularity, if you interact with these sites in any form there is a possibility of your posts being admitted into evidence (although other legal issues may arise from such accounts, i.e. defamation, investigating witnesses or jury members or proof of criminal activity) in your contested divorce or child custody, child visitation or child support matters.  Not only are parties savvy enough to check here to keep track of what is going on with you, but lawyers too are relying on information posted on these sites to assist them in prevailing in thier case in court.

     Let’s look at some of the legal implications that pertain to your divorce.  First, in a contested divorce on the grounds of adultery, the Domestic Relations law in New York states that:  adultery is the commission of an act of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, voluntarily performed by the defendant, with a person other than the plaintiff after the marriage of the plaintiff and the defendant.  Proof of adultery is the burden of the plaintiff (or the party alleging adultery) and although it does not require “direct” evidence, circumstantial evidence must be “corroborated” in most cases.  This means that a party direct testimony admitting adultery or a spouse’s direct testimony, is not enough.  Corroboration means that someone other person, not a private investigator or prostitute, must provide evidence of the adulterous acts.   So, if the adulterous spouse’s paramour leaves some telling pictures, posts, etc. on his or her Facebook page, that person may be subpoenaed to testify in your divorce trial.

     So you have a child support matter pending.  The non-custodial parent is claiming that he or she is unemployed, underemployed or merely lying about facts surrounding employment.  Particularly in a case where that party claims to be unemployed but has a “side” job that brings in some income.  He has a page that either promotes his coveted job or has “friends” that have used his services and make posts that support this.  Although, this may not be enough to prove the amount he or she actually earns at this “side” job, it certainly opens up the door to investigating the basis child support obligation further.  

      Similarly, in child visitation or custody cases the posts may open up the door to exploring facts in dispute between parties.  Although in child visitation and custody cases, not only are the parties’ entries up for scrutiny, but when the children have an account and make posts it may give either parent additional ammunition against the other based on the content of the posts.  Issues of inappropriate behavior, missed or denied visits, disputed interactions, scheduling conflicts or other violations are susceptible to being either supported or discredited when the parties have active accounts on Facebook. 

     As an attorney, I have not gotten to the point where I automatically do a search on Facebook to find incriminating evidence in my contested divorce, child visitation, child custody or child support cases.  However, I will encourage my clients to do their own due diligence and find whatever they can on any of the social networking sites.   Once they do, I will then discern what I will explore further.

Welcome Back,

It’s been a long hiatus for my blog entries due to a series of life events that kept me occupied and unable to make new entries.  However, that’s over and I have exciting information, updates and changes that I want to share with you all and look forward to reconnecting.  There has been a plethora of topics flooding the media, legal issues that have become more rampant and changes that affect the outcome of pending and future legal cases.  My focus is to keep my readers informed by making frequent entries and providing that forum to discuss many of these topics.

Stay tuned and informed by visiting frequently.

Tracey A. Bloodsaw, Esq.

         In observance of October as Domestic Violence Awareness month, I have listed a set of laws that were passed this year specifically aimed at those victimized by domestic abusers.  Although New York’s legislators have made some strides, there is still a very long way to go.  Out of more than a couple dozen bills presented to the legislative body, these are the ones that actually passed both the Assembly and the Senate.  Here is the list:           

          Expanding Family Court Orders of Protection Allows all victims of domestic violence the right to seek a civil order of protection through the state Family Court System. Previously only married parties, parties with a child in common, or those related by blood or marriage were able to go to Family Court for a civil order of protection.  This amendment now avails those who merely had a relationship, whether they lived together or not, to go to Family Court.  (A.11707)          

         Merit Time for Domestic Violence Survivors Allows domestic violence survivors incarcerated for committing crimes against an abuser, as a direct result of the abuse suffered, to earn merit time and participate in temporary and early release programs.  Prior to this new law, only non-violent offenders were able to participate in temporary release programs.  This law serves to enable convicted and incarcerated defendants who suffered from domestic abuse the opportunity to rejoin society a lot sooner than other violent offenders. (A.6150)            

       Crime Victim’s Award This bill would help reduce financial hardships for crime victims by defining “necessary court appearances.” The bill would allow victims to be reimbursed for the transportation costs they incur while appearing in court proceedings related to the prosecution of their attackers. The crime victim compensation was previously narrowed to certain out of pocket expenses, i.e. medical costs, cost of repair or replacement up to $500, cost for residing in a domestic violence shelter, loss of income and cost of attorneys fees before the board up to $1,000.  Now transportation costs to court are included so this is no longer a deterrent for a victim to cooperate with the District Attorney’s office in prosecuting their abuser/attacker.   (A.6675)            

        Banning Plastic Knuckles This law adds plastic knuckles to the list of illegal and dangerous weapons. This broadens the list of weapons that causes serious physical injury. This law makes it possible to charge the abuser with possession of a dangerous weapon in addition to assault, battery, manslaughter or murder.  (A.10522)                  

          Orders of Protection and Gun Ownership Requires a judge, who is presiding over a criminal or family court proceeding, to inquire as to the possession of a firearm by a defendant under an order of protection. Although many judges inquired whether the alleged offender possessed any firearms, all too often many overlooked this important query.  Now this inquisition is mandatory.  (A.1497)    

      Creating a Criminal Penalty For Obstructing A Call for Emergency Assistance This law establishes that an act to intentionally prevent a person from making a call for emergency assistance is a crime. The measure is aimed at preventing domestic violence. This is now a misdemeanor crime, where previously it might have been considered when there were other charges against the abuser.  (A.614)

It is our duty to our family, friends, colleagues, neighbors who suffer at the hands of their abusers, whether it be physical, emotional or economic abuse to become active and remain proactive in affecting change.  This means keeping abreast of the bills being presented and contacting our local and state officials to ensure that all that can be done is in fact done to save these victims.

Feel free to contact my office to discuss your domestic violence case or any other family law issue.

          I wanted to get the word out about this very important workshop that is being  sponsored by the Real Dads Network.   This program is a comprehensive program focusing on the issues that many unemployed and underemployed dads are facing.  This topic is very important because as many of you know from reading my blogs, non-payment or inconsistent payments of child support can have some very dire consequences.  And given the unfortunate circumstance of not being able to hire an attorney, many pro se fathers wind up being incarcerated for a period, losing their job, their home, etc.  This program will provide some very vital information and resources for fathers, young and old, on where and how to seek help when faced with these tough issues.

                  Here is the information:

                 Dads Embracing Fatherhood (DEF) Fatherhood Initiative program “Where Attitude Counts”!

                        Contact person: Theresa Dobie at 718-302-2057 ext. 202

                        Start date: Thursday, October 16, 2008, 6-9 pm and every  following Thursday for 10 weeks at the same time. Location: 790 Broadway, 2nd floor, Brooklyn, NY.

                        Incentives Provided: intensive case counseling, court advocacy, education on child support & Family Court system, relationship workshops, financial literacy workshop, family mediation and parenting workshops, money stipends totaling $250.00, carfare allowance and dinner provision for each workshop.

                      Requirements: Be unemployed or under-employed at the time of enrollment, have a current child support order, age limit 45 and under, must provide documentation for all requirements, able to commit to 10 week workshop schedule.

  For those of you that attend, please contact me directly to let me know how it helped.

          I am often asked about name changing for children when the biological father abandoned their child, when there is a step-father who takes care of a child, when the wrong father has been named on the child’s birth certificate, among many other situations where there is such an interest.  Although the laws in New York on name changing is pretty lax for an adult, it is a bit more stringent when it comes to a child.   The main reason is because the courts want to ensure that when the parent or guardian is seeking to change the child’s name to the name of someone other than a biological or adoptive parent that it is in the child’s best interest to do so. 

         In New York, a parent or guardian can change the name of a minor by either filing a paternity petition (if paternity has not been established) or a name change petition in Family Court.  Name changes can be filed in Family Court for children up to the age of 18 by the parent or guardian and from 18 years to 21 years old by the individual him or herself.  Anyone older than 21 years must file in either Civil Court or Supreme Court (where filing fees apply and the rules differ a little bit.). 

          Where the parents were not married and the name change request is for the child to have the biological father’s last name, or that of another person, paternity must be established first.  Establishing paternity means either having the biological father sign an Acknowledgement of Paternity or by filing a paternity petition in Family Court.  It is much quicker and easier to have an Acknowledgement of Paternity signed since this is a form provided by the Dept.of Social Services.  If a paternity petition is filed in court, the biological father must consent to paternity to expedite the order of filiation being issued by the court, otherwise the matter will be prolonged by a trial being held to determine paternity before proceeding to the name change.  Once an order of filiation is issued, it will be sent to the Dept. of Health and Mental Hygiene (”DOHMH”), which will approve the order and then send it back to Family Court.  Family Court will then have both parents complete and sign a form consenting to the name change, subsequently the form will be sent to the Dept of Health which will then issue the new birth certificate within 10 weeks (typically).

         Where the parents were not married and one parent is requesting that the child’s name be changed to a step-parent’s last name, or someone other than the biological parent, consent of the biological parent may be necessary, this is the case whether the child had the biological father’s last name or not.  First the step-parent will have to submit an affidavit acknowledging that he understands that this is not equivalent to an adoption and that there are no legal rights of parent-child.  When the petition is filed, the biological father must be put on notice, giving him the opportunity to object.  If he objects he must inform the court of his objections and his reasons.  If the objections are reasonable, the court will deny the name change.   However, the mere fact that the biological father objects does not necessarily mean that the court will not approve the name change.  If the parent or guardian seeking the change has a substantial reason why the name change should be granted, and the court finds that it is in the child’s best interest, the petition may in fact be granted.  In situations where the biological father has abandoned the child, not providing any support, not visiting or making any other contact with the child for a period of at least six (6) months (consecutively), then the court can grant the petition.  Also, in cases where there has been serious domestic violence or repeated child abuse by that parent, the court will more than likely allow the name change. 

         Filing a petition for a name change is not to be confused with correcting a name or adding a first or middle name to a child’s birth certificate.  If all that is needed in a correction, this can be done by contacting the DOHMH directly.  However, if there is a problem with locating the hospital records, if the child was not born in New York or for some other reason birth records cannot be located, a court order may be necessary, which requires that a name change petition be filed.    
          In situations where the biological father agrees to a surrender, a termination of his parental rights or consents to a name change, this certainly speeds up the process.  Proof of either must be provided along with proof of paternity, in the methods mentioned, unless the parents were married at the time of the birth.  Randomly changing your child’s name is not a matter of making the request, biological parents have rights unless those rights were terminated or surrendered and the court is aware of this.  I often recommend that the party seeking the change approach the other parent with their intention beforehand in an effort to obtain consent.  Assurances may have to be made that some obligations of that parent may be waived in exchange for the name change.

         Changing the child’s name does not absolve the other parent of his/her obligation to pay child support nor does it abrogate their right to seek custody or visitation.  Conversely, the step-parent may be held responsible for child support for the child that has legally assumed his name but may be denied custody or visitation of that child in the event of a divorce or separation from the child’s biological parent.

          Feel free to contact my office to discuss your family law matters.

         As of December 2007, the Chief Judge Judith Kaye promulgated a new rule with regards to the ethical standards of law guardians in New York. Law guardian are now referred to as the “attorney for the child”.  Under the new rule, section 7.2 of the Rules of the Chile Judge, the attorney for the child must “zealously advocate the child’s position”.  This means that the attorney for the child must consult with the child and advise the child, gaining a full understanding of the child’s circumstances.  If the child is capable of “knowing, voluntary and considered judgment”, the attorney must follow the wishes of the child, even if the attorney believes those wishes are not in the child’s best interests.  If the child is incapable of such judgment, or the child’s wishes would create a imminent risk of serious harm or injury, the attorney is justified in advocating a position contrary to the child’s wishes.  This in essence means that a “law guardian” in parental alienation cases does not have to consider what is in the best interest of the child/client.  Since that is the case if a child tells his attorney that he does not wish to see is alienated parent, unless the attorney is convinced that the child is unable to make sound judgments or is in imminent risk of serious harm by his/her not seeing the alienated parent, the attorney must advocate that child’s position in court.

SEE FEBRUARY 10, 2008 BLOG ENTRY:  PARENTAL ALIENATION: A LAW GUARDIAN’S PERSPECTIVE

          Historically legal marriage was defined as “a contract between man and woman who consent to marriage”.  Even though that is how marriage has been defined, limitations of marriage were placed on residents by individual states.  For instance, many states made interracial marriage illegal until the U.S. Supreme Court found that it was unconstitutional in Loving v. Virginia in 1967.  And although the states have the authority to determine its own marriage requirements, there are times when Congress has enacted laws that addressed marriage.  In 1996, Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act (“DOMA”), which states that marriage is defined as “a legal union between one man and one woman”.  This legislation gives states the authority not to recognize same sex relationships that would be recognized as marriage in another state. (40 states have adopted their own version of DOMA, New York has not.)  There are other instances where either Congress or the U.S. Supreme Court has forbidden certain types of marriage. Polygamous and close relative marriages, for example, are not permitted in any state.  States, consequently, do have some basic requirements that are common amongst each of them.  These basic requirements include the capacity to marry, consent to marry and age to marry.  Where states differ are on the procedural requirements, the types of marriage and more recently, whether same sex can legally marry. 

          New York law on marriage is governed by the Domestic Relations Law (“DRL”).  Under New York’s DRL, marriage is legal when:

                   -The parties are 18 years old or 16 years old but with judicial or parental consent;
                  -The parties are not parent-child; siblings; ancestor to descendant; aunt/uncle to nephew/niece;
                  -The parties consent and are capable in law, of making a contract;
                  -The marriage takes place after 24 hours but no later than 60 days of receiving the marriage license;
                  -Not bigamous or polygamous marriage; and
                  -Performed by clergyman, minister or leader of Society of Ethical Culture; Mayor; County executive or police  magistrate; a judge (within their territorial jurisdiction); or entered into by written contract between the parties and two witnesses (and acknowledged by a judge). 

         If these requirements are not met then the marriage is considered “void” in New York, or not legal.  On the other hand, there are instances when marriages are “voidable”, where a court must “declare” the marriage void.  Voidable marriages in New York, are marriages that occur when either party is under 18 years old; is incapable of consent or lacks understanding; is incapable of being married because of physical limitations; or acquired consent by fraud, duress or force or has an incurable mental illness for a period of five years or more.

          Although not explicit in the statute, New York forbids common law marriages, same sex marriages and proxy marriages.  The statute, however, implicitly permits first cousin marriages, religious marriages and marriages performed outside of the U.S. (as long as the legal marriage requirements of that country are met).  Further, New York criminalizes bigamous or polygamous marriages, Penal Law § 255.15 states:

                A person is guilty of bigamy when he contracts or purports to contract a marriage with another person at a time when he has a living spouse, or   the other person has a living spouse. Bigamy is a class E felony.

         Even where New York does not permit specific types of marriages (common law, same sex and proxy marriages), marriages legally established in other states pursuant to those states’ laws will more than likely, be recognized in New York.  (Although this is still a debatable issue regarding same sex marriages, see my blog entry “Will New York Recognize Same-Sex Foreign Marriage and/or Divorce”).  Common law marriages, particularly, are the most common “untraditional” type of marriage (at least 15 states permit them).  These marriages are marriages that were not solemnized by clergy or judge and the parties did not have a marriage certificate.  Proxy marriages, on the other hand, are not automatically recognized.  These marriages occur when either party is not present during the actual ceremony, but appear by a power of attorney, proxy or other legal stand in (these are only permitted in four states).

     Feel free to contact my office to discuss your legal rights under your “nontraditional marriage”.