Divorce Mediation is typically an easier, less emotional and less expensive way to settle the conflict between parties that arise as a result of divorce. The issues that are usually covered include child support, spousal support, child custody/child visitation, property and debts. Mediation is ideal for couples with or without children. The mediator remains neutral, which prohibits him/her from giving advice to either party or representing either party. The parties usually appear before the mediator without an attorney however, they have the option of having an attorney present. Once all of the details are resolved, a binding written agreement is drafted, each party reviews (each party is encouraged to hire their own experienced attorney to review the agreement) the details to ensure that their interests are addressed and then signs it. The final step would be having the final divorce documents prepared and submitted to court, along with the agreement, for the judge's issuance of a Divorce Judgment.
The process takes into account that there are emotional issues that almost always arise when parties agree to dissolve their marriage. In divorce mediation, the parties are able to feel comfortable and confidant in knowing that the problem solving used will empower them by knowing that they can keep their emotions to a minimum.
The mediator's role is to help the parties assess the pertinent issues, i.e. marital assets and their consequences, giving the parties the opportunity to become informed of what it takes to reach a settlement. Each party actively engages in the settlement process, being encouraged to openly discuss and exchange information to facilitate a resolution.
Mediation is entirely voluntary and only continues for so long as the parties and the mediator want it to. And although either party may withdraw from mediation at any time, the mediator has to have a good reason to withdraw.
Choosing mediation for divorce usually results in much more favorable outcome, since neither party "wins" nor "loses". Not to mention, mediation is less stressful because of its non-adversarial environment. One main advantage of mediation is that it keeps you and your spouse in control of your own divorce.
The Benefits of Mediation:
One of the advantages is that through this non-adversarial environment not only are the parties are able to negotiate their own agreement, but in the process they also are able to develop the necessary tools for resolving future differences. These techniques can result in the parties' using productive ways of airing of differences, which leads to creative solutions that addresses the ever changing needs of all family members. Additional benefits include:
- that it promotes communication and cooperation
- it allows the parties to retain control over the decisions that affect their lives
- it allows the parties to maintain their privacy since they don't have to air their personal business in a courtroom
- it provides the opportunity to define and address all the particular interests and needs of everyone involved, particularly the family
- it fosters a better relationship with the children since they see their parents working together
- it costs significantly less than litigation and
- since it takes less time than litigation it allows the parties to get on with their lives.
Before You Enter Mediation, You Should Consider:
- What issues remain to be resolved?
- Do you feel that you and your spouse can be fair-minded for the sake of your children's long-range interests?
- Will you be able to trust yourself and your spouse to live up to a collaborative agreement of your own design?
- Can you work with your spouse in selecting a mutually acceptable mediator?
- Does your attorney feel that mediation is a viable option?
- Will you be able to trust the mediator to be fair to both sides?
- Will you and your spouse be comfortable with a process that emphasizes cooperation and compromise rather than winning or losing?
If the two of you can honestly answer yes to most of those questions, you may be candidates for mediation. Should you decide to employ this option, you and your spouse should still retain the services of separate counsel from whom you can obtain advice and guidance during the process of the mediation.
The mediator's Memorandum of Understanding does not usually cover every detail that is encompassed in a Separation Agreement, and it is your attorney who should draft the Separation Agreement.
Divorce mediation handled appropriately may be able to reduce the emotional trauma of divorce and should explored as a possible option in appropriate cases.
Although Divorce Mediation is one of the newer services offered by our office, we have handled an extensive number of divorces, most of which end up in settlement because of the sound negotiation skills of the attorney. Ms. Bloodsaw has recently been certified as a New York Divorce Mediator by one of NYS approved mediation training providers. Contact our office to discuss our Divorce Mediation service offered.
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